Premier League's 79-goal rush leaves fans facing 19 days of cold turkey
Get ready for the dopamine crash. And this one really is a proper autumn nosedive. The past 17 days up to and including Sunday's cut-off gave the Premier League 30 games and 79 goals — which, if you take Spurs out of it, is quite a lot. But now the show has stopped, and fans are left staring at 19 blank days of shivers and shakes until the Premier League resumes in October.
Writing in his state-of-the-nation address for the league, Guardian columnist Barney Ronay paints a picture of a product in stasis: events happening at great volume, but very little changing at the level of teams, style, stars and potential outcomes. Roll back one year and the broad situation was almost identical, he notes — a powerful team winning all five games but looking defensively fragile, Arsenal sitting second, and the well-run middle classes beginning with B — "an entity you might call Brightonmouth" — proving the most interesting story.
The easy answers to the big questions
For Ronay, the season's recurring debates resolve themselves quickly. Is Michael Carrick the man to take Manchester United to the next level? "No." Is he the reason United are not at that level? "Also no." The reality, he argues, is that there are no other levels — United now acts as "a grand, angst-ridden but very accurate metaphor for modern-day Britain, furiously retailing its own heritage, run by fill-ins and opportunists, a mobile waxwork museum living on tourism and memories."
Are Tottenham doomed? "Probably not. They have enough semi-interested players to retain a solid hold on 17th place" — although even that drama has been degraded by repetition. Are Liverpool on the verge of a renaissance? "Probably not. The Jürgen Klopp golden era is beginning to look quite distant, surrounded on all sides by something a bit like the present."
On Florian Wirtz, the columnist is admiring but sceptical of an English fit: "He is a very good footballer. He just can't resist contact very well, which is non-negotiable in the Premier League."
Brighton, the middle class and the Omniball template
The tactical picture is one of standardisation — "there is still only one elite level style, the Omniball template of the Cruyff-Michels-Guardiola-Gegenpressing school" — skewed in England towards physicality over control. The result can feel "a bit like driving a brand new electric car: fun, high-grade, but also endlessly repeatable."
That physicality is why Brighton's defeat of Arsenal on Saturday seemed so significant. "It is rare to see any reigning champions not just beaten, but outskilled and outmuscled," Ronay writes. "For 90 minutes, only one of these teams looked like genuine contenders for every trophy on offer."
The question now is whether a well-run middle-class club can sustain that level across a full campaign and deliver another Leicester. Ronay offers the obvious answers why not: one very good game is not a 38-game slog, and Brighton face regular midweek football. Then there is the small matter of manager Fabian Hürzeler — all of 33 years old — appearing on talkSPORT for an hour to discuss exactly how he beat the champions. "Nothing wrong with this. But it is an indicator of where we are."
An endlessly moreish mega-product
The international break brings its own rituals: rage at Thomas Tuchel, inherited cultural weaknesses, and the unavoidable "contrast effect" that deepens the low once the action is gone. Yet the league remains brutally strong, state of the art and endlessly moreish despite its repeated story arcs.
"Come back soon Premier League mega-product," Ronay signs off. "The comedown is already hitting."